I got used to people slamming me that I am such an over-planner. I mean, why would they do otherwise? I plan my trips up to the last minute. I have a daily to-do list. My daily time frame is scheduled. I have quarterly and annual goals. I am fully aware of how meticulous I am, and I take take people’s sentiments as a compliment.
Throughout the years, I truly embraced the benefits of planning, not just my daily tasks, but my life as a whole. It has given me more direction and it has allowed me to define my ever-changing objectives from time to time. Planning surely did allow me to refine my goals, cultivate grit, and establish focus. I have always treasured the importance of planning. With that, I am writing this article for those who would also like to use the power of planning as a guide on the paths they wish to take in life. Welcome to the world of an overplanner!
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It’s very easy to give up on the Philippines. To be honest, like you, that thought crossses my mind once in a while, too, because of countless reasons. It is difficult to live in the country, with 16.6% of the Filipinos living below poverty line and countless are barely making above it. Many of our professionals, like myself, choose to leave the country for work because of the lack of opportunities available to lead a better life in it. We have heartless elitists who look at the rest of our countrymen with disgust. We have countless corrupt politicians who never miss an opportunity to pocket Filipino money whenever they can. Lastly, I’m sure many would agree with me that our current leadership is constantly failing us.
Eversince the COVID-19 Pandemic reached the Philippines, I’ve been tremendously depressed by blow after blow of discouraging news about the country. It started with our government leaders being more concerned with China’s feelings over the health and safety of our countrymen. And it went downhill from there. We’ve seen the government implement a lockdown without proper planning and preparations. We’ve experienced countless clownery of those people in power, starting from the late-night rants of a President, to DOH apologizing to China over their low quality products, to the ECQ violations of a Senator, of big names who are supporter of the admin, and most recently, of a Police chief. We’ve witnessed how DOH undermined the services of our healthworkers. We’ve seen how our country is slowly succumbing to the power of China by allowing POGO workers to operate and most recently airing the Wow China! radio program in a state-owned radio channel. We have also not fixed yet the overcharging of PhilHealth on their newly launched premium prices, putting the burden of the Universal Health Care on the salaried workers’ shoulders. The most heartbreaking parts are the continued and countless social injustices that are done to common Filipino citizens, starting from the recent victims of Police violence, with many who lost their lives and livelihood in it. There have also been countless victims of shoot-to-kill, warrantless arrests, unreasonable violence the public received from the authorities recently. We should also not forget the 11,000 workers of ABSCBN adding to the hundreds of thousands Filipinos who have already lost their jobs to this pandemic. Apart from all of these social injustices that we received from our government recently, it is also heartbreaking to see other Filipinos dragging their countrymen down just because of their blind support to a politician. All of these are just heartbreaking, discouraging, and hopeless! Alright, have a long deep breath. I know. I know that feeling, and I am very familiar with it. But, I hope we keep the faith. I hope we don’t give up on the Philippines.
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It was just another night in my apartment. I’m alone, and miles away from my home. I’m in such a great place in terms of career, but I’m lonely. I’m not worried about what my next meal is going to be, but am I geniunely happy? I’m not sure. There were nights when I reminisce memories of myself munching my favorite Tinolang Manok with my family in our make-shift wooden table back at home in the Philippines. We would talk about victories and problems. We would laugh and quarrel. We only have a roof without a ceiling over our heads, but I can remember how happy and content I felt in those moments. My sister and I would then do the dishes while we sing our favorite songs, our voices echoing in the woods. I miss my family. There are also nights when I think about my man and those days when I get to see him everyday. Now we’re both far away trying to make a living. Every time my thoughts direct to him, I feel a clawing pain in my chest. I no longer remember how it feels to be squeezed in his tight embrace. It’s almost a year now since we last saw each other personally. Everytime I mull and rant about this kind of life of a constant long distance relationship, he just comforts me with the assurance that once we already saved enough fortune, we can both go back home and live normally like we used to. I would just try to relax just so he can stop worrying, however, the thought of having these limitations just never stops flashing back.
Every time I tuck myself to sleep, all I feel is the pain of longing for people and the pain of knowing that I don’t have a choice. It’s funny how I’m lamenting over this. Going far away for work was my personal decision. I told myself it was for a dream. I told myself it was for a future worth fighting for. However, recently, I’m starting to question if this is all really worth it. Is it really worth sacrificing the present in order to prepare for an uncertain future?
I know that I am not the only one. You are going through this, too. Majority, if not all, of us are sacrificing and gambling our present just so we can prepare for a future that we don’t even know will exist. Many of us are giving up our chance to live in the moment just so we can make a living. There are too many of us who are forced to sacrifice things just so we can fullfil society’s expectations. We are all inside modern-day cages. Have you ever wondered if this is all even worth it? Have you ever had the mad idea of escaping the loop, and just say “Fuck! I’m so done with all of this!” As for me, I have.
Continue reading “Modern Cages: Is this all even worth it?”