Annually, I usually wrap up my year recounting all the milestones I have achieved and all the dragons that I have conquered. However, I do not want to do that this year. Millions of people died, lost their jobs, and stopped their studies because of COVID-19. I even lost my guy bestfriend, Dave, from it. Many lost their lives, their homes, and their properties to the strong typhoons that stormed PH this year. Many are now drowning from poor mental health. Many are struggling to put food on their tables. And definitely, there are those who are living everyday to survive. I do not want to alienate myself from the struggles of others. If there is one thing that I want to contemplate on now is the fact that I have been greatly privileged and it’s sad that countless people do not have the same privileges that I have.Continue reading “27 and Using my Privilege to Pay It Forward”
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from this quarantine months, it’s the importance of the simple act of moving.Continue reading “The Importance of just Moving Around”
I have unofficially graduated from Berklee College of Music through their online course entitled “Introduction to Music Theory”. While this sounds celebratory and extravagant, I must say that my Berklee journey has resurfaced a lot of the what-ifs of my life. That is why today, other than spilling some tips and tricks to successfully complete a Berklee online course, I will also be confessing my struggles as a frustrated musician because I know that my struggles are not unique. I know somebody needs to hear them, be encouraged by them, and most especially, be enraged by them.Continue reading “My Berklee Online Journey”
It is so twisted how people can easily tell you that you are undeserving of love. Since when did love become exclusive? Since when did people become undeserving of love?
“Uyab mo? Dapat nangita sad kag imong katimbang oy.” (You’re in a relationship with him? You should’ve chosen someone in the same level as you.)
“Dapat nanguyab ka’g taga syudad.” (You should’ve chosen someone from the city.)
“Ikaw humana ka’g college, pero diba siya kay bag-o paman na hingbalik og eskwela?” (You already graduated from college while he’s still starting, right?)
Those were the words I received from other people way back 2014, when Anton and I just started. When I heard those words, I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t believe how this toxic mindset and culture are deemed right and just. I froze there, silent and devastated. Those were the very words my man had to endure in silence. People thought he did not deserve me just because he’s underprivileged. I was hurt, but I know that he was the one who was hurt the most.
Today is a story we are so used to seeing in the movies. However this time, you will read real struggles of two people who never believed that there are lesser or better people when it comes to love.Continue reading “They said He’s not Good Enough for Me”
I’m one of the odd and strange ones, and I think that’s okay.
One huge reason of having a personal blog is to take my readers to my journey with me. I want to share every bliss, every heartache, every lesson learned, every failures, and every success to every reader who cares. Why? Because I want to remind everyone that you are not alone, that you got an ally in me, and that I am with you in this journey. Today, I am again sharing a part of my journey that will again make me look vulnerable. A part of my journey that will once again unveil my struggles. I am being brave today in the hopes that this honest confession will also give courage and company to those who need it the most.Continue reading “Dear Strange One”
Everyday, in the past 4 months, I’ve constantly been depressed with all the news I read and hear. All the stories of people’s struggles and suffering all over the world have taken a toll on me, emotionally and mentally. There have been countless moments when I wanted to cave in, when I wanted to just live off-grid in order to save my sanity. However, last Friday I came across an Instagram video from the ever inspiring Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. More than a video about her victory on the recently concluded US Congressional elections, it was also a video about being brave and being a constant patch of hope to people. She said; “It’s an honor to work shoulder-to-shoulder with each and everyone of you in a movement for a better world. We will not stop.” Those words rang in my ears, throbbed my heart, and reminded my consciousness about a very important lesson. It is in these trying times that we are all needed. It is in these dark times that our stands must be visible and our voices be heard. It is in these critical moments that we should continue to push forward despite the shackles of oppression and repression that bind us. These moments are turning points, and we must not stop.Continue reading “Yes, We will not Stop”
I got used to people slamming me that I am such an over-planner. I mean, why would they do otherwise? I plan my trips up to the last minute. I have a daily to-do list. My daily time frame is scheduled. I have quarterly and annual goals. I am fully aware of how meticulous I am, and I take take people’s sentiments as a compliment.
Throughout the years, I truly embraced the benefits of planning, not just my daily tasks, but my life as a whole. It has given me more direction and it has allowed me to define my ever-changing objectives from time to time. Planning surely did allow me to refine my goals, cultivate grit, and establish focus. I have always treasured the importance of planning. With that, I am writing this article for those who would also like to use the power of planning as a guide on the paths they wish to take in life. Welcome to the world of an overplanner!Continue reading “I am an Overplanner, and this is how I plan my Life”
It’s very easy to give up on the Philippines. To be honest, like you, that thought crossses my mind once in a while, too, because of countless reasons. It is difficult to live in the country, with 16.6% of the Filipinos living below poverty line and countless are barely making above it. Many of our professionals, like myself, choose to leave the country for work because of the lack of opportunities available to lead a better life in it. We have heartless elitists who look at the rest of our countrymen with disgust. We have countless corrupt politicians who never miss an opportunity to pocket Filipino money whenever they can. Lastly, I’m sure many would agree with me that our current leadership is constantly failing us.
Eversince the COVID-19 Pandemic reached the Philippines, I’ve been tremendously depressed by blow after blow of discouraging news about the country. It started with our government leaders being more concerned with China’s feelings over the health and safety of our countrymen. And it went downhill from there. We’ve seen the government implement a lockdown without proper planning and preparations. We’ve experienced countless clownery of those people in power, starting from the late-night rants of a President, to DOH apologizing to China over their low quality products, to the ECQ violations of a Senator, of big names who are supporter of the admin, and most recently, of a Police chief. We’ve witnessed how DOH undermined the services of our healthworkers. We’ve seen how our country is slowly succumbing to the power of China by allowing POGO workers to operate and most recently airing the Wow China! radio program in a state-owned radio channel. We have also not fixed yet the overcharging of PhilHealth on their newly launched premium prices, putting the burden of the Universal Health Care on the salaried workers’ shoulders. The most heartbreaking parts are the continued and countless social injustices that are done to common Filipino citizens, starting from the recent victims of Police violence, with many who lost their lives and livelihood in it. There have also been countless victims of shoot-to-kill, warrantless arrests, unreasonable violence the public received from the authorities recently. We should also not forget the 11,000 workers of ABSCBN adding to the hundreds of thousands Filipinos who have already lost their jobs to this pandemic. Apart from all of these social injustices that we received from our government recently, it is also heartbreaking to see other Filipinos dragging their countrymen down just because of their blind support to a politician. All of these are just heartbreaking, discouraging, and hopeless! Alright, have a long deep breath. I know. I know that feeling, and I am very familiar with it. But, I hope we keep the faith. I hope we don’t give up on the Philippines.Continue reading “I hope you don’t give up on the Philippines”
It was just another night in my apartment. I’m alone, and miles away from my home. I’m in such a great place in terms of career, but I’m lonely. I’m not worried about what my next meal is going to be, but am I geniunely happy? I’m not sure. There were nights when I reminisce memories of myself munching my favorite Tinolang Manok with my family in our make-shift wooden table back at home in the Philippines. We would talk about victories and problems. We would laugh and quarrel. We only have a roof without a ceiling over our heads, but I can remember how happy and content I felt in those moments. My sister and I would then do the dishes while we sing our favorite songs, our voices echoing in the woods. I miss my family. There are also nights when I think about my man and those days when I get to see him everyday. Now we’re both far away trying to make a living. Every time my thoughts direct to him, I feel a clawing pain in my chest. I no longer remember how it feels to be squeezed in his tight embrace. It’s almost a year now since we last saw each other personally. Everytime I mull and rant about this kind of life of a constant long distance relationship, he just comforts me with the assurance that once we already saved enough fortune, we can both go back home and live normally like we used to. I would just try to relax just so he can stop worrying, however, the thought of having these limitations just never stops flashing back.
Every time I tuck myself to sleep, all I feel is the pain of longing for people and the pain of knowing that I don’t have a choice. It’s funny how I’m lamenting over this. Going far away for work was my personal decision. I told myself it was for a dream. I told myself it was for a future worth fighting for. However, recently, I’m starting to question if this is all really worth it. Is it really worth sacrificing the present in order to prepare for an uncertain future?
I know that I am not the only one. You are going through this, too. Majority, if not all, of us are sacrificing and gambling our present just so we can prepare for a future that we don’t even know will exist. Many of us are giving up our chance to live in the moment just so we can make a living. There are too many of us who are forced to sacrifice things just so we can fullfil society’s expectations. We are all inside modern-day cages. Have you ever wondered if this is all even worth it? Have you ever had the mad idea of escaping the loop, and just say “Fuck! I’m so done with all of this!” As for me, I have.Continue reading “Modern Cages: Is this all even worth it?”
I stretched the wet Skincare face mask as laid it on my bare face one night. It’s been countless months since I used a disposable face mask, and I only decided to put one on because my face was starting to have painful dry cracks because of the coldness of Spring. This happens to me quite a lot, especially during the cold seasons of Japan. This is because I always compromise on my Skin Care. I know I need them, but I don’t use moisturizing creams unless I find a zerowaste or perhaps an organic one. I don’t use moisturizing face masks as much as possible despite the sharp cold of Winter. I don’t use Toner, Face Lotion, or Sunscreen just because I couldn’t find sustainable alternatives here in Nagoya. Because of that, I tend to just suffer in silence; the pains of my dry skin cracks during Winter, my Acne, my uneven skin color, and all the others that I ever so knowingly put myself through. That night, as I finally pampered myself with a single moisturizing face mask, I couldn’t help but ask; Why am I doing this to myself?
Self-care is an alien thing to me. Not that I’ve never pampered myself before, but it was just never my priority growing up. Recently, I’ve been trying to find the courage to allow myself bit by bit of self-care. If you are here because you are in the same journey too, then I am glad to share this with you.Continue reading “I hope You find the Courage for Self-care”